Forgotten Entities
by Tamelion
Summary: Gene has an unexpected confrontation with suppressed thoughts. H/L,oneside


**A/N**: I'm a bit aggravated at the lack of fiction concerning this pairing. So, like the trooper I am. I decided to write one. Bare with the lack of a plot. thank you.

* * *

**Title**: Forgotten Entities..

**Author**: TL

**Paring**: Gene/Harry McDougall, one-sided

**Rate**: PG13

**Summary**: Gene has an unexpected confrontation with suppressed thoughts

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Outlaw Star...wish I did though.

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_in the moment of weakness..._

Gene hated melancholy!

Absolutely hated the change it brought and the rain was the icing on the cake. The day began with an odd start- the rhythmic sounds of water colliding with the outer exterior of the ship. Slowly building up its pace; Gene feigned looking out the window, knowing what sight would great him. It was days like this that burned through his soul. A heavy downpour meant he was stuck on the ship for a WHOLE day!

He chuckled darkly...or was it a sigh? The silence that surrounded made it seem foreboding-so all honesty, today would be no different from the next day. Or the week that followed. The adventurous life of Gene Starwind had faded into minuscule memories. Fame had its setbacks; he had the best ship in the entire galaxy and everyone knew that. Which would likely explain the lack of pirate encounters. News traveled like wildfire; whenever his ship was spotted, pirates within a 50,000 mile radius disappeared.

Gene shoved a pillow into his face, biting down a scream. _I hate my life!  
_

_**...you had a chance**_

There it was. With a grim smile, he tossed the pillow to the side. Gene wasn't a psychiatrist, but he knew that something was terrible off...for gods sake, he was talking to himself!

Did he say those things?

No, it wasn't him. Not too long ago, he convinced himself that an entity had taken over a section of his brain. It was cruel-it would lay dormant like a sleeping feline and unsheathe its claws when awoken. And like the idiot he was, he had stirred it. Gene hated rainy days and with good reason. He wished someone could save him or at least distract him. An air raid or just...SOMETHING!

_**You killed him**__ / __**this is what you deserve  
**_

Gene suppressed the rising bile in his throat. He clamped his eyes shut, looking for a way to protect himself from _its_ biting words. _I can get through this_. He survived all of its previous attempts..._attempts to what?_ To make life a living hell. Gene sighed, he needed to do something. Anything. Bug Melfina, clean the cock-seat or even fix that damn dent _mister blinding-greenness_ left...or _goldness_. _Oh  
_

_**Oh?  
**_

_Fuck. _He screwed up. Big time.

_**You did and now he's dead. Why **__**don't**__** you fix it? Fix it.  
**_

He knew why the dent remained as is. 3 years later, even the other inhabitants of his ship began to wonder. He remembered cleaning of the dried blood, enraged by the green haired mans actions. _How dare he do that to Melfina!  
_

_**Is that the only reason you were angry? Or are you angry because it was for Melfina.  
**_

"Shut up..shut up" he pleas sound pathetic, weak. How did he get like this? No. He knew why. Because of the unrequited love he carried for so long. It hurt, knowing that his feelings for Melfina was a cover. A blanket that shielded his true feelings; things so forbidden, he could forgive himself. He didn't want to relive those memories... painful memories.

_**Did you like touching those soft green curls?  
**_

He sobbed. It wasn't suppose to be like this. Things should have gotten better. He had the best ship, a good crew, a unique girl and . . . _absolutely nothing._ It meant nothing to his heart. He didn't know when it started. The first encounter? A first glimpse at those soft turquoise locks and that dazzling smile. All of his attention was directed towards Mel and at first, he was very protective. He didn't like the predatory look he gave her, if anything, Mel was too innocent. He absolutely hated it when Harry lost his mind over her.

_**You should have told him.  
**_

As flamboyant as Harry was, Gene doubted he was gay. His hunger for Melfina was raw. Real. Whole. Not for him. It drove him to his death. Know this, why couldn't he move on. Find someone to appease this side of him.

_**Because you know you will look for him in others.  
**_

He knew. To his horror, he caught himself intently staring at a female who sported an all-to-familiar hairdo. Once? Twice? Sometimes...sometimes being around Mel became too hard. She reminded him. He didn't want to think of those pale fingers touching her..or that smile. He wanted to forget. Everything. . .

_**Is that what you really want? What do you keep in that locket? What do you DO when all are asleep?  
**_

"Fuck!" Yes, he admits he kept a lock of his hair. He admits he dreams about him. He fucking admits he jerks off to him. He admits he loved that dumb pilot. He admits he was jealous of Melfina. He admits that more than once he's though of using his gun on her. Anything to make this torment stop. _Alright. You win. You win..._ And he knew, that this would never stop. What was this? Guilt. Love. Anger. Sadness. Everything and anything. Things he thought he buried. Parts of himself he wanted to destroy. He knew what it was. It was him and it was crying. Angry for being forgotten. Angry at him for trying to forget. He should have known. No one can escape their demons.

It stopped raining. The sun illuminated the window and lit his room in golden rays. To him, nothing has changed. He could still feel the melancholy.

"You came too late fucker." The damage was done. A moment of silence passed. One minutes became two, three, thirty to an hour. He sighed, _It went to sleep._ He like that idea. Sleep. He lay his head on a pillowly, slowly lulling himself unconscious.

_**This is what you deserve.  
**_

There it was again. But different. It was said almost gently...

It's possible that he did deserve this.

**The end.**


End file.
